I'm John. I'm a billionaire gold investor who makes billions of dollars every minute and has everything in life perfectly secured and arranged. All I need now is a cookie-cutter wife to fill the void like a perfect, hot, high-maintainance wife should!

Hopefully, if you're still reading, you have a sense of humor and have made it this far. Please continue. And feel free to ask any questions afterwards. I'm an open book, well, maybe a magazine, or a pamphlet found in the back of an airline seat.

I believe that life should get better with each passing day, otherwise, something isn't lining up right. I think that waiting for our lives to become fairytales is lame. Disney movies are a pale representation of existence compared to how much fun, adventurous, fulfilling, and love-filled life can really be. I love the ocean and doing anything and everything to take full advantage of how awesome it is. I freedive, spearfish, surf, windsurf, stand up paddle surf, paddle race, swim, etc. If you know what the book Kon Tiki is about, we could very well be made for each other. Chocolate is good. The church is true. Boxers are great dogs. I enjoy shooting guns. Did I say that the ocean is the greatest? Laugh with me. Laughing is good for the soul and life in general. I graduated from BYU Hawaii with a degree in English. It's been fun putting that degree to use.