Meeting people through personal ads is a way to meet. A lot of people laugh at these ads, but in fact this is the way top stars such as Johnny Carson and Joan Collins get most of their spouses. If you want your ad to be effective, however, it must have certain characteristics:

1. It should say you are profoundly attractive. Nobody in the personal ads,nobody,is ever "average looking." If, for example, you had Elephant Man's Disease, you would describe yourself as "rugged."

2. It should be extremely specific. For example, if your a man, you don't just say you're looking for a "nice woman" You say you're looking for "a 5'8" twenty-three-year old blond Capricorn woman of Croatian ancestry weighing 109 pounds and having a degree in childhood development from BYU."

This lets everybody know you are in a position to pick and chose, and not some semi-desperate schlump who has to advertise for dates.

3. It should say you like "candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach." All personal classified ads contain this phrase, not because anybody really wants to take long walks on the beach, but because people want to prove that they're Romantic and Sensitive. The beaches of America are teeming with couples who met because of personal ads, staggering along, sweating and picking sea-urchin spines out of their feet, each person afraid to reveal to the other that they would rather be watching a rental movie.

"Dating" simply means "going out with a potential mate and doing a lot of fun things that the two of you will never do again if you actually get married." Dating is a very important part of the mate selection process throughout all of nature. Some sectors of nature, such as insects, date for only a few seconds; birds, on the other hand, perform an elaborate Dating Dance.

Human beings dated as far back as ancient times. as is shown in the bible:

"And Balzubio did taketh Parasheeba to a restaurant, and they did eateth potato skins."

The next recorded date was between Romeo and Juliet, a young Italian couple who went out despite their parents objections, and just about everybody involved ended up either stabbed or poisoned.

After this tragedy, there was very little dating for several centuries. During this time, marriages were arranged by the parents, based on such things as how much cattle the bride and groom would each bring to the union. Often the young couple wouldn't even meet until the wedding, and sometimes they were not strongly attracted to each other. Sometimes, quite

frankly, they preferred the cattle. So now we feel that dating is probably a better system.

When two people have been on enough dates, they generally fall in love. You can tell you're in love by the way you feel: your head becomes light, your heart leaps within you, you feel like you're walking on air, and the whole world seems like a wonderful and happy place.

Unfortunately these are also the four warning signs of certain diseases, so it's always a good idea to check with your doctor.

I feel that one of the hardest parts for singles is getting to really know one another. Just getting started is really a problem. I was thinking about the local singles dances and conferences and realizing how hard it was for people to get into conversation. In the old non-church days a woman would take out a cigarette and pretend to look for a match in her purse. This was the signal for six or seven available lurking men to lunge toward her, Zippos flaming, sometimes causing severe burns.

Smoking, however, is against the Word of Wisdom and men are deprived of the chance to feel bold and masculine and necessary in the hostile dating environment. It would be nice if we had a modern meeting ritual. Like maybe the sister could come with a jar of preserves, and she could sit there pretending she couldn't get the lid off, and the man could come along and offer to help, and soon they would be engrossed in fascinating conversation.

"Are you fond of preserves? Huh! I am fond of preserves myself!"

But for now, we are stuck with the system where one party has to boldly walk right up to the other party and, with no real excuse, attempt to start a conversation. At one time this was strictly the man's responsibility, but now, what with Women's Liberation, it is still strictly the man's responsibility.

However, this is nothing to be nervous about. After all, why did the sister came to a singles activity, if not to meet a guy like me, only smarter and more attractive?

I believe there is more courage and nobility in the quiet parts of our lives than in those we ascribe to fame, glamor, and celebrity. I believe that our greatest accomplishments are feats we will never be paid for, deeds that can never be valued monetarily. Like making strangers into friends, forgiving a parent, raising a child, finding fulfillment in work, and developing spiritual faith. It is in these everyday and inconspicuous challenges that we truly prove our character and discover life's meaning. Though ordinary, they are not simple in the least.

Life holds a treasure and it is not behind the gates of country clubs, or in the boardrooms of corporations, or in the classrooms of great universities. It is in the experiences we all share, in the families we have. Whether family means the family we come from or the families we form in so many cobbled together ways.

I used to be looking for someone who would give me no problems but I have learned that I should be looking for someone that I will be good at overcoming problems with. I have been blessed with so much and I am grateful for Heavenly Father's patience. I look forward to finding the wife and family He has promised.

I am currently living out my version of the old TV show "Green Acres". I have an old dairy farm that had been dormant for years. I am not looking for dairy cows as I had my fill of that when I was younger. The house is almost done, the Finnish Farmers Society of America was founded in my front room. I have been putting in fruit trees and berry bushes and putting in stone walls. I have pigs goats and I am working on the chicken coop.

I enjoy working with the young men and have a scout camp in my back yard that is used by various wards in the area. I long for children that will stay here and not just visit. I hope to find a companion with children or one that is willing to adopt or to have children of our own if that is possible. If you have done the children thing and are done with that then please look elsewhere.

I enjoy doing things and trying things but I am not into the fate tempting activities. I trust Heavenly Father to give me those trials which he feels I need to experience as opposed to overworking the angels that watch out for me. I have died and come back. It changes your perspective a bit. I have had to learn to walk all over again. Boy you appreciate the simple things. I enjoy racquetball, sailing, walks, tricycling, dancing and many other activities. I rarely watch TV. Reading is great! I catch good movies with friends or at home. I love to cook and host meals often at my house. My place is often referred to as the hotel for if someone needs a place to stay they usually end up with me. It makes life interesting.

Somewhere is someone that can put up with what Heavenly Father has managed to do with me to this point, whom I can also handle, and together we will work with Him and learn and grow. However, we need to get to know one another first so please drop me a line. Maybe we are just to be friends to assist one another on the journey or maybe we are to be companions and grow together. Time will tell.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Paul