Thanks to the nudging of family, I am taking a leap of faith onto the web to share a bit of myself with you. I’m a little skeptical because you can’t always know what is in someone’s mind and heart by a brief interest questionnaire. It takes hearing the tone of their voice, seeing deep into their eyes and feeling of their spirit; and hopefully the Holy Ghost adds the discernment. Entering into a new relationship (as with anything else important) requires back-up from Father in Heaven.
However, if I were in your shoes I’d want to know that just a few years ago, cancer changed the dynamics of our family and our lives. This sacred experience brought us closer to our Savior, to each other, to our church family, and to our community. An abundance of the love and light of the Savior enveloped us and we, in turn, were able to be a beacon of hope to others. When you allow the Lord to do with you what He will, he can grow your heart to capacities otherwise unknown; strengthen you beyond what you thought possible.
All I ever wanted to be was a mom, but now I find myself working to finish degrees to provide and to protect, but I can see the hand of the Lord in my efforts blessing me every step. That said, it still stinks being alone. There is a whole lot of my life left to live and doing it hand-in-hand with someone who sustains me, cares for me, laughs with me and loves me will make enduring to the end a joy. I want to move forward with someone who loves the Lord more than anything, who seeks His council daily, and is fully committed to His service; someone whose motivation is to love the Lord and his fellow man.
It is nearly impossible to share who I really am in a blurb on the internet, but maybe a glimpse of my typical day will help.
Everyone is up early for seminary; although, I find it easier to pry off the pillow when the sun wakes up first. I start on my knees asking for the strength of the Lord and that I can be His hands somehow. We always have prayer and scripture study with before we have to face the world.
After breakfast, a little yoga and a tussle with the dog, I get ready for class. I’m maintaining a 4.0 GPA in my senior year with a double major of music and theater. If I’m not in literature/history/core classes I’m in a voice lesson, acting class and either singing in one choir or conducting the other (as an intern). I’m grateful that, to my good friends, age is irrelevant because sometimes it’s hard to keep up with the 19 year olds. I constantly pray for capacity to learn and study and the Lord keeps on blessing me. That just makes me more able to help and encourage someone else.
I always meet my girls at the crossroads when I can, and find out how their day went, and maybe even sooth a meltdown or two. Sometimes we just pause for a silly dance session and a good laugh. I think my kids are the funniest and the “fun-est” and I love being with them.
I often have rehearsals or performances for a choir, opera or a play (whether singing, conducting, acting or directing). I usually pray for the butterflies to fly away (maybe even receive a priesthood blessing) because I am more comfortable with the teaching, directing or conducting side of performance. Singing and teaching are what I love to do. Someday, it will be nice to get paid for having so much fun! I’m super blessed to have daughters who support me and even cook dinner once in a while.
Evenings are filled with homework (mine and theirs), youth activities, and goofing off with a game or a movie, but family home evening trumps it all. At some point, I’m preparing for church callings and wishing the temple was much closer so I could go more often. Even if it’s late, I’ll get a letter off to my missionary daughter and maybe even a phone call to my son. Eventually, I’ll put the world away and write my thoughts and feelings in my journal and pray for inspiration and enlightenment as I study the scriptures (which is one of my favorite things to do). I pray for my family and a little sleep, but I still wish I had someone to share it all with.
As you read my story, and if you are inspired, I hope you will send me a message. But be t-weight:bold;")forewarned, my daughters are fully involved in the screening process. In fact, my youngest just said “If they mess with my mom, I’ll kick their butt. I know karate.” I laughed, but it is true that this search must be a family affair.
One more thing…my top 20 list of things that make me happy:
My Savior and Redeemer
All priesthood blessings
Words of the prophets
A walk in the forest
Camping in the mountains
A quiet beach
Trying something new
Hidden love notes