I'll bet you ain't ever had a friend like me. Why? 'Cause:
I like anything involving the outdoors. Particularly things like hiking, boating, rafting, etc.
I like to try new things.
Family comes first
I am literally the kind of guy that would give you the shirt off someone else's back.
I consider myself fairly laid back; I don't sweat the small stuff.
I've gotten anterior grade amnesia before. Twice. And both times happened after saying: "I can do that."
I have met Jeff Goldblum, back when he had his mullet.
Contrary to popular belief, I have a wonderful singing voice. I just do it in sign language
I've tried hunting alligators with a machete once. Epic fail.
I've been known to go on spontaneous hiking trips. They just happen to be when certain relatives come to town.
You ever cause a blackout before? I have
I am a limbo champion.
Any allegations that I intentionally attacked a wedding are false. That was an accident, period.
I've been involved in a smuggling op. It's not how it sounds.
If you can't find me, try looking up.
I might give you five bucks if you can guess which line's fake. Or maybe a dinner