I party like its 1999. I am America's next top model. I never perspire. My strengths outweigh my weaknesses. I am constantly caller number 9 and win tickets to all the best shows. I bat 400. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. I smell better then the Old Spice guy. Giraffes constantly ask me to reach things for them on the top shelf. I am a Huge gamer. But I only play one. Its called my real life. I'm a stellar hugger and a world class cuddler. I snowboard in the summer. I dance with the stars. I consistently beat Chuck Norris in arm-wrestling. I once read paradise lost, the odyssey and war & peace all in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I can outrun a zombie horde. I traded up my six pack abs for intelligence and a personality. I shower daily. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. Sushi is my favorite food group. I bake 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes flat. I own 3 sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. I know the answer to "Who is your daddy?". My car has a name... It's Optimus Prime. Moms love me and children want to be me. I know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. I always pick the fullest and most symmetrical Christmas trees. I was the one who double stuffed your Oreos... You're welcome. On Wednesdays, after practice, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I eat soup, I'm a go-getter. I sleep once a day. Basically...I am a Rock Star.
* Sorry ladies I am not looking for a quick hook up. If you don't have a pic its a no go. If I don't answer back don't take it personally and send me an angry email telling me how horrible I am. If you want to talk to me? Just talk to me! Please do not add me to your Favorites list or Flirt at me with that stupid thing. Just be real and Message me. If you are just another pretty face with nothing substantial or interesting about you, not interested, that's boring. If you cake on make up it's no bueno. Natural and inner beauty are the most attractive to me. Lets all be big boys and girls and play nice!*