My name is Gifford and I am an Alien from a galaxy far far away who is stuck on this planet because I couldn't pilot and play angry birds at the same time. While I am awaiting rescue I have learned several fun Earth activities like swing dancing, playing the piano, Krav Maga and reading what you call Scifi novels. They remind me of home :'(. To help blend in I would be interested in dating one of your princesses and when my rescue ship arrives I promise I will bring her safely to my home planet Kolob.
Live long and prosper.