I lost a needle in a hay stack once and found it. I'm 5'11" on paper but 6'10" when you tickle me. When I go to Wendy's, the entire menu changes to 99 cents. My carpet vacuums itself. Everyday is my lucky day. I have more fun than my friends, except when they are having a LOT of fun. When you meet me the pleasure will be all yours. I can't stand fantasies because they always come true. I don't pay attention to fashion because it is always a step behind. I once climbed Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjaro, and K-2 using only one bottle of oxygen and a sack of trail mix.

For an ideal first date...I want to stare into your eyes like a weirdo. I want to kick your feet and try to trip you when you walk in front of me. I want you to open the doors for ME and whenever I enter a room, you whistle the theme song to Top Gun.