My Experience on LDSSO
I was visiting teaching when I first heard success stories about people who had met on an LDS Internet dating site. The stories planted a seed.
As a single Mom, with stresses of young children, dealing with the affects of a recent divorce, trying to map out my future and figure out what to do, one day I
checked out LDSSO, not to find a husband but to see what it was like.
Did I have adventures! I corresponded with several men. Thinking it would be helpful to meet other singles of similar circumstances, I explored the different
"social groups" offered on the site. One group stood out about exploring healthy relationships. I had a keen interest in psychology and thought the group could be
a hoot. I clicked the tab to join and thought nothing of it until a few days later when I received a warm welcome and invitation to the next meeting from the
leader "Allaroundman." Although I did not yet have a picture posted with my profile, he told me how impressed he was with what I had written about myself. He
teased me about being a "greenie" regarding my inexperience with the singles scene.
Doug, Allaroundman's real name, and I corresponded on the site for awhile before he asked to meet. Not being that impressed with his profile, I expected him to be
weird but safe, the date to be short, and that to be the end. I needed to take the plunge some time so I went on the "disposable date."
He had me laughing in the first thirty seconds and I found that hours later we were still talking and wanting to know more about each other. Doug and I became very
close as we developed a relationship over the next few months. Because of differences, we stopped seeing each other and I continued my LDSSO adventures, which gave
me needed experience with different personalities. Allaroundman remained the comparison for me, and we did stay in touch. Months passed and I received a message in
which he shared with me some personal mindset shifts that Doug had experienced, matters that had divided us before. I was intrigued, but cautious. I soon after
went to a dance where I thought he would be and we met and reconnected. We felt the Lord's hand in bringing us together. After much discussion, having seen how he
was with my children, taking many compatibility and personality tests, and following the guidance of prayer, we decided to marry. Together through all the
challenges we have found rewards we felt were lost in our earlier life.
And yes, I did write about my adventures. I wrote about the struggles of a difficult marriage and what it is like for a victim to survive abuse. I wrote about why
women stay in abuse and I wrote about the complexities that come with the LDS culture in dealing with a failing marriage, divorce, and then about being a single
mother. But mostly I wrote about those crazy adventures that can happen on an LDS dating service. I explored the positive and negative sides. I wrote about how I
learned to navigate safely through. I discovered that Internet dating is a great way to take the "meat market feeling" out of meeting people. You can get past the
physical stuff and learn what people think and feel and get a general sense of who they are. But there are people who lie and others who really aren't being honest
with themselves. Meeting people and trusting the Spirit's promoting is the only way to safely guide yourself through the complex maze of single life. I thought
Internet dating was an interesting adventure. I'm glad I tried it.
I told my tale in the form of fiction, but my experience, pain, and happiness can all be found woven into the novel titled, Escaping the Shadows: An Email Journey. I invite you to read my story, certain
you'll find value, humor, and insight for your life.
You can also check out my website at: www.escapingtheshadows.com